Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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