Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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