tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
