You just made me feel so damn special
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
