Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
