Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
