I'm lost and stupid without you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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