I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
