apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
