ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
