just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
