my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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