I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
