Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
