i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
