We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
