its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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