What a fucking waste of an outfit
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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