im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
