I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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