dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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