I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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