Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
