it was like eating out sand paper
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
