bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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