what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
