I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
