Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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