4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
