question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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