So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
