Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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