He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
