yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I AM VODKA MAN
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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