I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
