Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
