Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize