White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
