You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
