i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
