is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
