So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
