At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
