I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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