It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Come share oat with me in your robe
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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