Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
