I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
