I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
