Me too!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
