Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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