Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
