just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
