Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
