I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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