Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
